Shalom. Remember that God is always with you, even when you don’t feel like He is.
God never changes… but it can feel like he does. That’s because we change. As we grow, mature or not, we see the world differently. I can remember going back to my old primary school in Napier as a younger man. I hadn’t been back since I was attending it. It had shrunk. The field was smaller, the classroom tables were smaller and how could you fit, even the teachers had shrunk. Truth is, apart from being a bit older they hadn’t really changed. I had. My perspective was different and because I hadn’t kept in contact with my old school over the time, my altered perspective was obvious. But I hadn’t noticed the same thing about my house. Why? Because I was in contact every day. It’s the same with relationships. I’m not the exact same person my wife married over 30 years ago, nor is she. Similar… ageing has had minimal effect obviously, but my views, knowledge and experience have changed.
With God things are constant, but we understand differently as we learn and grow. In my teens I couldn’t really understand the love a parent has for a child. In my late twenties I did as I had my own children. Then as they’ve grown up to become young men, I’ve realized how a parent’s love changes and grows with them. It’s still the same, but different.
It’s such with God.
How can he let me suffer? Because he knows I can cope, grow stronger and more resilient. He knows it won’t always be hard, or always easy. But He’s always there, and as I look back… I see how my perspective on Him has changed too.
May He bless you to be a blessing.